Top Ten Signs The Sound Guy Is Having a Mental Breakdown:
10. His shirt reads "FOH – it's what's for dinner."
9. Repeatedly instructs the musicians to call them "Sir Sound Guy."
8. Before the service, walks around mumbling, "500 mega-hertz and all is well."
7. Claims audio feedback is proof that aliens are trying to communicate with us.
6. Uses the talk-back microphone to correct the pastor, after mispronouncing a word, by saying, "Let's try this again. Start over beginning with "'And God said…'"
5. Turns the pastor's mic on and off during the sermon and gives him the "I don't know what's happening" look.
4. Stands in the doorway after church and signs people's bulletins with "to my biggest fan."
3. Has a voodoo doll that looks like the worship leader. Has already mutilated the one that looks like the lead guitarist.
2. Is wearing a werewolf mask when he's in the sound booth.
1. Paid the video guy to run "production credits" at the end of the service.