Smashing pumpkins, that's a great way to deal with anger. I've even been known to decimate hundreds of aliens with the quick-fire of my computer mouse. Everyone has ways of dealing with anger and letting off a little steam. By the way, I don't go around smashing pumpkins but it does sound fun!
This past Sunday, I let my anger get the better of me. I didn't want to kill the worship leader. I didn't want to blow up at another sound tech. I WANTED TO SHOOT MYSELF!
It all started with using groups on the mixer, something I always do, and later messing up a solo singer's volume because I forgot I had his group volume down. Most people didn't notice the problem. However, I was so busy berating myself that when it came time to record the sermon, I monkeyed with the CD player channel after I'd started recording the sermon and the recording stopped. I missed about a minute of the sermon before I saw what I did.
People typically don't ask for a sermon copy…but the day I mess it up, someone asks me. Yep, I was extremely angry at myself.
I am my worst critic. I can have a person tell me the service sounded great but if I know I screwed up, I'm mad at myself.
This past Sunday, I was given a whole new outlook.
After the service, I was packing up the xlr cables when a church elder came up to me and said "thank you." Then, he said something that gave me pause to think. "Not everyone has the skill to do the technical work that you do." That's something I often fail to recognize. God has given me technical skills and a good ear. Therefore, when I'm upset that I've screwed something up, like a vocal volume, I'm mad at myself because I know better. God has given me the skill to work behind the mixer and yet I've messed up.
Dealing with anger takes me back to a bit of golf advice I received years ago. "When you play a bad hole of golf, walk to the next tee and know that you are starting over." When I messed up with the vocal volume, I didn't leave my mistake behind me. I kept holding onto it and it affected other parts of my game. In retrospect, I had done something different on the mixer that I usually don't do, as it relates to groups, and therefore, I didn't have the mixer set up like I usually do.
If you mess up, don't let your anger or frustration get the better of you. After the service, look back at what happened, why it might have happened, and how you can prevent it in the future. When you are juggling, it's not the time to watch the ball that you dropped, you have to keep focusing on the ones still in play or they will all fall down.