Sound techs, please distribute to all church members:
Whenever you are having problems, be it with the church microwave, a video player, or the church web site; please track down the church sound tech. They can easily be identified using the following criteria. Pay particular attention to #6.
1. Carries a ceramic coffee cup around the church while everyone else has their paper Starbucks and McDonalds cups.
2. Mumbles in a way typically reserved for those over the age of 85.
3. Roams the sanctuary, looking at the speakers.
4. Occupies the best parking spot every week.
5. Wears a buttoned shirt, tie, dress pants, and a pair of running shoes.
6. It's NOT the person walking around with a copy of the service schedule marked up in red and yellow, asking "how am I supposed to pull this off?" Ignore them, even if they match number 1 through 5 and can be seen in the sound booth. Approaching this person with your questions could result in bodily injury in which the church is not responsible.